Like Cupid aiming for my heart. Apparently, Cupid needs to head back to the archery range for some practice. This is gonna take awhile…
Archive for ‘Funny Friday’
So Much Truth
Turtles Must Be Delish!
This video from a home in Venice, Florida made the news last week. Apparently, alligators think turtles are incredibly delicious! This one is certainly determined…
While this is filed under Funny Friday, I’m using the label with the slightly odd and creepy definition and not in the haha way. The only other thing I more disturbing than random, weird baby dolls in strange locations is clowns. Any clown, anywhere, any time. <Full body shudder>
Camouflage Level: Expert
While other turtles dove for cover when I approached the pond, this one remained immobile. I almost dismissed it as a weird stump but the curvature of its shell caught my eye. This turtle was so covered in duckweed that I couldn’t even identify it.
Nothing to see here, folks, move along. Or to paraphrase the great Obi Wan, “This isn’t the turtle you are looking for.”
Not All Clothing is Optional!
Since you know how I feel about the naked truth, I couldn’t “bare” to let this story about police requiring nudists to wear face masks go uncovered (all puns intended, at all times). Let’s face it, we can use a wee bit of a chuckle these days.
Too Much Time on My Hands
I was stuck at one of Florida’s infamous, long traffic signals on my way to volunteer at the local food bank the other day. Bored out of my mind I noticed this sticker on the car ahead of me. I love word games like Boggle so I set out to see how many words I could make out of Passholder. Humble brag, I remain – as yet – unbeaten at that game (which is why no one will play it with me anymore).
I also have a bit of a potty mouth, so the first word that jumped out at me I won’t write here (if you’re curious, just drop the P-D-R, no need to rearrange any letters). Needless to say, I continued making words for the rest of my drive.
My list is 279 words long (not including that first word). All words are three letters or longer and yes, I allowed plurals. I imagine many of you have extra time on your hands right now, so why not give this a whirl? I’m curious to see your list!
Watch What You Say to Squirrels
Since I’m avoiding humans (per social distancing guidelines) I’ve begun chatting with the local wildlife. Met a squirrel the other day, our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey, Squirrel. What’s up with you?
Squirrel: Nuthin’, just hanging out. I’m bored.
Me: There’s a lot of that going around. This stay at home stuff is driving people nuts.
Squirrel: Nuts?! You haf nuts? Gimme des nuts!
Me (backing away slowly): No, no. Not edible nuts, it was a figure of speech…
Lesson learned. Hey, I didn’t promise it would be scintillating.
Free Roaming Bovine
Obviously, we all need something to smile about these days and if this story doesn’t moove you then I don’t know what will! Apparently this speedy and wily girl has been roaming the streets since late January and as far as I can tell, she’s still on the lam(b). Run, cow, run!
This story brought to mind a fun song I was introduced to years ago when Dana Lyons held a concert in Tucson. It was a catchy tune filled with puns so, of course, I loved it! Believe it or not, Cows with Guns actually charted in England back in the 90s.
All of Them?
I do have a good number of imaginary friends, so this is a smoking deal!