While other turtles dove for cover when I approached the pond, this one remained immobile. I almost dismissed it as a weird stump but the curvature of its shell caught my eye. This turtle was so covered in duckweed that I couldn’t even identify it.
Nothing to see here, folks, move along. Or to paraphrase the great Obi Wan, “This isn’t the turtle you are looking for.”
Nudists, William L. Finley National Wildlife Refuge, Salem, Oregon October 2018
Since you know how I feel about the naked truth, I couldn’t “bare” to let this story about police requiring nudists to wear face masks go uncovered (all puns intended, at all times). Let’s face it, we can use a wee bit of a chuckle these days.
Decal Spotted in Treasure Island, Florida April 2020
I was stuck at one of Florida’s infamous, long traffic signals on my way to volunteer at the local food bank the other day. Bored out of my mind I noticed this sticker on the car ahead of me. I love word games like Boggle so I set out to see how many words I could make out of Passholder. Humble brag, I remain – as yet – unbeaten at that game (which is why no one will play it with me anymore).
I also have a bit of a potty mouth, so the first word that jumped out at me I won’t write here (if you’re curious, just drop the P-D-R, no need to rearrange any letters). Needless to say, I continued making words for the rest of my drive.
My list is 279 words long (not including that first word). All words are three letters or longer and yes, I allowed plurals. I imagine many of you have extra time on your hands right now, so why not give this a whirl? I’m curious to see your list!
Since I’m avoiding humans (per social distancing guidelines) I’ve begun chatting with the local wildlife. Met a squirrel the other day, our conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey, Squirrel. What’s up with you?
Squirrel: Nuthin’, just hanging out. I’m bored.
Me: There’s a lot of that going around. This stay at home stuff is driving people nuts.
Squirrel: Nuts?! You haf nuts? Gimme des nuts!
Me (backing away slowly): No, no. Not edible nuts, it was a figure of speech…
Lesson learned. Hey, I didn’t promise it would be scintillating.
Obviously, we all need something to smile about these days and if this story doesn’t moove you then I don’t know what will! Apparently this speedy and wily girl has been roaming the streets since late January and as far as I can tell, she’s still on the lam(b). Run, cow, run!
This story brought to mind a fun song I was introduced to years ago when Dana Lyons held a concert in Tucson. It was a catchy tune filled with puns so, of course, I loved it! Believe it or not, Cows with Guns actually charted in England back in the 90s.
Motel Sign, Treasure Island, Florida March 2020
I do have a good number of imaginary friends, so this is a smoking deal!
Cowboy Flip-flops, Tampa, Florida February 2020
Play Money, Rockport, Texas December 2019
During the week before I moved from Texas I made it a point to re-visit my favorite places. One of them was a peaceful, little cove on Copano Bay with stellar sunset views. It was such a relaxing spot that I made it a point to swing by there at least once a week.
On my last trip, I espied this green rectangle from a distance and though it looked a little funny I was hopeful that I would get my wish and find a bunch of money. Technically, it was $100,000 (which is a lot of money to me). It just happened to be play money.
Once again, I was reminded that though the universe conspires to help me, I need to be a lot more specific with my wishes!
T-shirt, Tampa, Florida January 2020
I presume it is easy to find meeting space and the club meetings must be short, since there is nothing to discuss with anyone.
Guest Book, Sarasota, Florida December 2019
I did my best to do as commanded, I complimented the book and gently stroked the page. Never got much of a reaction but I presume it was pleased?
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