As a former bartender (and lover of word play), I’ve collected a few bar jokes over the years. Here’s my new favorite:
A man walks into a bar with a newt.
Bartender asks, “What’s your pet’s name?”
Man, “Tiny.”
Bartender, “Why do you call him Tiny?”
Man, “Because he’s my newt.”
As with most bar jokes, its best said aloud…
Caught this Great Blue Heron last week at the tail end of the “golden hour”. The light was fading fast which limited the crispness of the image but I was rather delighted with the painterly outcome.
Though I have artist friends who I know could paint a much better rendition, it’s not bad for a photo taken with my cell phone.
I was driving home when I saw a handwritten, cardboard sign by the road, “Free Raspberries.” As a big berry lover I was not one to pass up this deal (especially when the sign uses my favorite four-letter word).
It didn’t bother me one bit that the berries were not, in fact, as advertised (black instead of red). After some washing and pureeing (with a bit of sugar) I ended up with four large jars of blackberry syrup. It’ll be perfect over ice cream or pancakes, as the base for bbq sauce, or even as a fruity mixer for drinks.
Berry-licious!
I disturbed this Southern Toad’s (Anaxyrus terrestris) daily routine with one of my recent digging projects. I was pleased to discover this nocturnal hopper in my yard since they are known to devour roaches and other nighttime creepy crawlies.
As a true toad it is toothless, covered in warts, and sports two parotoid glands. An effective defense mechanism, the toad can secrete a toxin from these glands that deters predation.
Thankfully for dog owners, the Southern Toad’s poison is not nearly as powerful as that of the non-native Cane Toad (now found throughout Florida) or the Sonoran Desert Toad out west. Years ago, I had to rinse out the mouth of a dog that made the terrible mistake of trying to chew on one, Shelby never did that again!
Welcome to my ‘hood, little one. May you live long and prosper!
Caught this stunner at John’s Pass this past weekend. I’d have a hard time believing this was real if I hadn’t witnessed it.
Sitting by the water, watching dolphins swim by, and marveling at the colorful show put on by the setting sun = one of my favorite ways to spend an evening!
I rescued some columnar cactus cuttings from an alley a few months back. I planted them as a group in a bare corner of my yard and hoped they’d survive. I’ll take this recent bloom as a sign that they’re doing well.
I found this little Yellow-bellied Slider (Trachemys scripta scripta) hatchling, maybe two inches round, resting in my mulch last weekend. As one of the pond sliders it will spend much of its adult life in the water. Juveniles, however, stay near their terrestrial nest for the first six months or so.
I presume it will eventually wander across the street to the nearby canal, until then it will dine on insects in my backyard which works out well for me!
Fairly true statement, though thankfully it didn’t quite break 90 here at my house today.
The main thing I’ve noticed is the days are noticeably shorter (just 12 hours and 9 minutes of sun today) and the nights are definitely cooler (lows around 75 degrees).
I’m looking forward to sleeping with my windows open again soon!
Met this Eastern Glass Lizard (Ophisaurus ventralis) in my backyard a couple days ago. At first glance I presumed it was a small snake, thankfully it let me take a photo before moving under my wood pile. A bit of research and I was surprised to learn this was actually one of the two legless lizard species found here in Florida.
The vertical white bars behind the head differentiate this one from the Slender Glass Lizard. The glass part of the name comes from their ability to break or shatter their tail as needed.
Unlike snakes, legless lizards have moveable eye lids and external ear openings but they lack flexible jaws (which limits the size of their prey). While they can reach lengths up to 42″ this one was relatively small (about 15″) so it probably eats mostly insects. A welcome addition to my yard for sure!
I discovered this petite, maroon beauty growing along the canal across the street from my house yesterday. The aptly-named Cow Pea (aka Phasey Bean Macroptilium lathyroides) is a high-protein legume commonly used as a forage crop for cattle (added benefit for the farmer, it is also a nitrogen fixer which helps replenish depleted soil).
Native to South and Central America, Cow Pea was introduced to Florida for agricultural use but in 2013 it earned a spot on the state’s invasive species list. This adaptable little plant not only self-pollinates but it can tolerate wet locations, sandy or clay-filled soil as well as salty areas. Another key to its success? Two pounds of Cow Peas contains roughly 119,000 seeds – that’s a lot of potential for spreading!
On the plus side, it is favored by local pollinators, including butterflies which some think the flower resembles.
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